For a long time, my life felt louder, faster, and more demanding than it seemed to be for everyone else. My mind rarely slowed down, my energy came in waves, and my senses were constantly taking in more than I could process. Things that appeared effortless for others – social cues, transitions, or busy environments – often left me exhausted or quietly overwhelmed.
I didn’t have words for it. I simply assumed it was a personal failing.
Only later did I understand that I live with AuDHD – a combination of ADHD and autistic traits, a profile many women only discover later in life. This understanding didn’t change who I am, but it changed how I understand myself. For many women, however, this realisation comes far too late.
What Is AuDHD – and Why Is It Different?
AuDHD refers to the co-occurrence of ADHD and autism in the same person. These traits don’t cancel each other out; instead, they often interact in complex ways. Some amplify one another, while others mask each other so effectively that they go unnoticed for years.
People with AuDHD often experience challenges with executive functioning, such as planning, organisation, or memory, alongside sensory sensitivities, social differences, and intense emotional experiences. Hyperfocus can sit right next to distractibility. A need for structure can coexist with a strong desire for novelty. This internal push and pull can be confusing – both for the person living it and for professionals trying to assess it.
AuDHD is not a deficit or a character flaw. It is a neurodivergent profile that shapes how someone thinks, feels, processes information, and moves through the world. Like all forms of neurodiversity, it comes with both genuine challenges and meaningful strengths.
Why AuDHD Is Often Overlooked in Women
ADHD and autism often present differently in women than in men.
ADHD in women is frequently internalised: instead of visible hyperactivity, it may show up as mental restlessness, chronic overwhelm, emotional intensity, or quietly struggling to keep up. Autism in women is often heavily masked. Many learn early on to observe, imitate, and adapt socially – even when it costs them enormous energy.
When these profiles overlap, the result can look “normal” on the outside while feeling deeply exhausting on the inside. Many women are misdiagnosed with anxiety or depression, or told they are simply sensitive, perfectionistic, or too hard on themselves. Others only recognise what’s really going on in adulthood, after burnout or major life changes.
What Research Is Showing
Recent studies increasingly confirm what many women have lived for years. There is a high overlap between ADHD and autism: many autistic people also meet criteria for ADHD, and vice versa. Historically, this overlap has been poorly recognised, particularly in adults and especially in women.
Because diagnostic criteria were largely developed based on male presentations, many women with AuDHD remain undiagnosed or are diagnosed late. This understanding helps validate the experiences of women who have long felt “different” and misunderstood.
Lived Experience: Making Sense of the Contradictions
For me, masking became a survival strategy over many years. I adjusted my reactions, hid my overwhelm, ignored sensory discomfort, and constantly adapted to expectations. On the outside, I functioned well. On the inside, it was deeply exhausting.
Understanding my AuDHD helped explain so much:
- Why loud or busy environments drained me so quickly
- Why I could hyperfocus at work but struggle socially
- Why my emotions felt so intense
- Why I was constantly editing myself
The diagnosis didn’t give me a new identity – it gave me language, clarity, and permission to work with my brain instead of against it.
Challenges and Strengths of AuDHD
Living with AuDHD often means navigating sensory overload, intense emotions, and a persistent feeling of being “different” or unseen. Many women spend years not understanding why everyday life feels so draining, with misdiagnosis or late recognition only deepening the exhaustion.
At the same time, AuDHD brings remarkable strengths. Hyperfocus and deep curiosity can support creative problem-solving. Empathy and sensitivity can deepen relationships. The combination of ADHD and autistic traits often fosters innovative thinking and the ability to notice details others miss.
AuDHD is not about changing who you are. It’s about learning to work with your brain, recognising both challenges and strengths, and finding ways to thrive without masking or suppressing your true self.
Why Recognition Matters
Recognition changes everything. It reduces shame, reframes past struggles, and opens the door to strategies that truly fit – instead of forcing yourself into systems that never worked.
For women especially, understanding AuDHD can be life-changing. It offers a framework for understanding your rhythm, your needs, and your limits without pathologising them. Recognition allows you to build a life that supports your nervous system rather than constantly overriding it.
A Different Way Forward
AuDHD is not a limitation. It is a way of being that combines depth, intensity, creativity, and complexity. When we move away from deficit-based thinking towards understanding and inclusion, we don’t just support AuDHD women – we allow them to thrive.
AuDHD doesn’t mean being “broken” or “behind.”
It means experiencing life in your own way, at your own pace.
And that deserves recognition, respect, and space.
Chantal